Category Archives: Life and times

When the light flickers and the switch does not work.

Not quite able to make a connection. When the light flickers and the switch does not work.
When the light flickers and the switch does not work.

Regardless of the positions i have so far fulfilled in my short life, a permanent unauthorised niggling hides inside me. Never being able to uncover the reason of the niggle i proceeded to commit as always 100% to my jobs.

I open my eye, exposing myself to the world. For sure, i will embrace this day and i will conquer the tasks passed my way. 

My main concern was, and still is (purpose).

When i was growing up, i was surrounded by a family of workers and automatically i assumed it was normal to, just get a job. As long as i could pay the bills that bombed the doormat everyday, things would be alright, that’s what i thought anyway.

Some jobs, i admit, i hated. Most on the other hand i have thoroughly enjoyed. But still i was targeted by the niggle. The niggle ate away at me like a cancer and there was no cure for the niggle. I had no answer. 

Day after day for years and years the niggle invaded my soul, lurking, below the surface. There was a question there for me, i just did not have a clue what it was. 

I wanted to be a million things in this life, if only i could just work out the one true purpose of my being.

Time passed and times changed, and so did the jobs. The more i searched the employment sections the worse the niggle became. At first i thought the niggle was frustration, but i was only angry with myself. Angry because i could not find the cure for a question i did not know.

One thing i did know though was that there was no way i was living my life in the same lane as everybody else. The niggle mauled away and laughed in my face and the gears would never change up so i could switch lane. I was moving through life in a slow motion.

This life so far has used me for its personal gain, and i have let it. I have been a slave to the everyday life of working, like millions do, for someone else. I have to do this, i have no choice, or so i thought. 

The older i got, the more i wanted. The want was only achievable with cash and i obviously worked harder to get what i wanted. I was never in love though, not truly, work was work.

Then one day my life took on a game changer, and i moved countries. Just like that. Gone. That move changed me, and all of a sudden i wanted to be smarter. Not only smarter, but educated.

The enchantment of being surrounded by multiple languages was quite breathtaking and annoying at the same time. Some people i know speak five and more and i wanted to know more. Self taught education became my new priority. 

Learning a new language baffled me, i just could not absorb the words and get them to stay in my mind. In one ear and out the other, followed by the niggling, crippling my genius.

Again, the searches into employment were just clicks on a screen, and then i realised something. The realisation was, that as much as i was educated in the real world of living, i never had one certificate to prove anything  that i was worth. 

For the first time in my life i wished i had studied when i was at school instead of clowning about.

The panic gripped me. I now had a niggle and a panic, a terrible panic and no direction. Thoughts of what i would be doing in my life up to the grand old age of retirement haunted me. There was no possible way that he, who deals the cards, dealt me only jokers, surely not.

Time again moves on,leaving me stranded on the platform without a ticket to continue on my travel. 

Long lists of qualifications appeared after the job descriptions and every-time, i shit out.

The strangest thing happened in the summer of 2016, and a tragedy tore my life to pieces. Those pieces of my life were scattered to every corner of the universe. 

After withdrawing myself from the gauntlet of life, stress of the brain felt like an explosion, a meltdown was looming.

So i read more and i drew more, but still the irritating niggle beat down on me. Kicking my arse at every turn.

I could not tell you how, or why, but, instead of drawing, i began to write.

All of a sudden my arm just did not want to stop writing. I wrote down just about anything and everything that was on my mind. I would write tales and stories about my life, good and bad. 

The writing  stopped me reading, but i just could not help myself, i was becoming addicted to the ink and paper. Book after book i filled. Then i moved.

This time, the move was to a caravan in a forest in a off-gridder kind of way. i was all of a sudden, Bear Grills. After some time in the caravan, something hit me.

The niggling had stopped, just like that. The seriousness was that i now could not believe that my writing was the cause.

Since that time elapsed, i have never stopped writing. I feel great, fantastic, free. The pressure that used to pound away in my head has gone and i feel at ease with myself.

I am confident that writing was what the niggle wanted to tell me. 

Working a shitty 9 to 5 is still on the cards for me at the moment, but i now feel my love, and i will fight tooth and nail to change my life for the right reasons this time.

All i see now is that i want to be a writer, an author. Seeing my work in print, with my own two eyes………… That is my dream.

Service with a Rosie smile

Being a resident in Palma De Mallorca during the summer can be a very very stressful time indeed. Every one you come across is wearing the same shades, you know the shades they wear. The shades that allow time and motion to slow to nothing. Space walkers arrive and my high speed does not gel with the camera happy snapper that is in no hurry. I have a lot of land to cover and not a lot of time to cover it and this is when i had a really smart idea, get a moped.

The moped would be ideal for zipping  in and out between the cars, no more stuck in traffic before work, home earlier, more time on the blog, yes i did say blog. The list of positives goes on, fuel consumption, sun, speed, cheaper insurance and 76km  for 2 litres was the winning answer.

Would you believe that i actually did do what i just said and i got off my arse, the decision was made. Next thing you know i am 1 week earlier now and one day and i am in the shop which is full of Vespas and various others and i ask to see the sale bikes.

The guy looks confused, looks at me confused, i look at him confused and then i look around the shop kick myself because for a minute i thought i was in a scooter shop not a car lot.

Next thing you know, my Spanish is not so bad and this guy speaks fluent English after all and the look is not confusion at all. the look is more ohh shit, that kinda look. he tells me he got some bikes but these bikes are at the other shop and will need to be prepped for my sale. no Problem i said, you change the papers over, i will pay a holding fee and when can i pick it up i said.

Upon leaving the shop it was agreed that next saturday( yesterday) was the pick up time. Perfect i thought to my-self, just in-time for the  Easter bunny and the increase in tourists. I can really get stuck into the blog then and keep it as live as long as my life would allow me.

Mid-way through the week i receive a call, from the shop, they are ever  so sorry but Sunday is the new scheduled pick up. im not too happy but hey ho whats one more day.

Yesterday while i was jumping over rocks i found myself not far from the scooter sales place where i paid the deposit. And me, being me would like to speak to the guy, just to make sure that we are on the same page.

A swing by the shop was a good idea as i am now confronted by a different man from last week. the procedures are done and the hellos are said and they now know who i am and what i want.

Now what i want is simple, very simple. I want, one man with a cell to make a decision. That one man, can surely, in a week, do as he said, and if not just give me a time and a date and mean it.

It was never going to be ready on Sunday either, the lying tossers. But i had come this far and i was willing to see it out now, if only for the entertainment factor.

I am an extremely busy man and i cannot stand people wasting my time, so all im asking is, think about it before you answer, you mess my plans up.

Life is Rosie, smash a hammer into the kind button, and now the question is …………… how will Joe end up ??????bike or……… no bike.

gotta keep on top of your rocks, this is Joe, rocking out.

Wi-Fi ………….

Good evening, i thought id finish the week off with a rant. Now, i live in the forest and recently i discovered that because i generally move around a little bit, i could have a new kind of system that does not require a landline. nobody needs landlines anymore anyway. So there i am, having a little think about it. I see in full clarity that its wise to accept, i spend a fair amount charging my megasgofly, and they do fly. The reception is not so good here so i accepted the option of a portable receiver, fantastich. …… that was a month ago. Yes, i have been patient and in the time waiting i have continued to secure the the best deal i can, while i wait, still.

Tick-Tock, Tick- Tock, . Ok, so, now my caravan is too far away from the main house of the friends i have made that have allowed me to use there land for a while. This is a reason why i need a separate connection, all to myself because im greedy……….superstar internet speeds ……….here we come.

This generally means that if i work Monday through Friday not finishing until 5 and they as a company finish at 4, we gonna have a problem then. Now i might be mistaken for thinking that this time zone is an important time for business but i might be wrong. In the real world the population use these guides so when i arrive home from work at 5ish i can be there as instructed………..impossible……. so i arrange someone to be there for me.

i know i was a naughty boy but all i want is internet….. continually……. no cock ups…….. simple

My work is finished for the week, its Easter, i got internet……..thats the most important, the wi-fi………..Life is surely Rosie.

The wait is over, the gates to the drive open up, but the gradual progress along the gravel path revealed not one sign of a cable. This was when my rose colour glasses began to crack, but i still had faith that this engineer actually covered the cable and completed the task in a professional manor.

My glasses shatter into a million fragments, disintegrated, along with the wi-fi as i notice that the tech took down the owners provider dish to the house and replaced it. They went and put mine in its place.

so not only do i not have, what i am now paying for, i am paying for it for someone else.

go figure eh…….. anyway, it could be worse, i could be dead.

Life is Rosie…… smile, be kind…………. on-wards and up-wards.

Joe blunt, jumping on a rock………….. Bon Finde


Once upon a time, a few mistakes ago, she knew i was trouble as soon as i walked in. I have been on the run (from myself) so long, they cant find me and when the chemicals leave my body, there could have been many a time they might find me in a hotel lobby. Problem is that the world drags me down, and the heads that turn, make my back burn, but its the sparkle in her eye that keeps me alive. I am not a perfect person, there is many things i wish i did not do, but i continued learning, i never meant to do those things to you. There is something i have to say before i go, that i just want you to know, i found a reason for me, to change who i used to be and start over new…….


And that reason is you my Red Maserati……………Joe Blunt……… over and out, from the rock…………Life is getting more rosy by the minute.

ok, so look.

I am in the forest where i have been residing for the previous 5 months and as i peek over the top of the four screens that are changing my life the trees dance in the wind. i am a million miles away from civilisation, and the caravan has the gentle music of a nineteen88 chart toppers playlist in the background. seriously, i am turning into a nerd thanks to a series of highly unexpected changes in my life. The rain is looming overhead and i can hear the occasional droplets hitting the warmth of the steel tube and disintegrate. This estufa has has provided the warmth in my caravan and often leaves me feeling sleepy due to the uncontrollable rise and fall of the heat, no thermostat here i am afraid.

I have always been a bit of a reader and to carry a book is comfort for me, the pages the smell of the book and the scraps of paper i used as bookmarks with my own notes on. i turned to writing about 8 months in books as my laptop was smashed and my life with it. Paper and pen it was to be.

The few months passed, writing and drawing only by hand, never leaving my books out of my sight… it was all i had.

uncertainty was never far away and bread became the cheapest way of survival on the pittance i had left to my name……

My love for the words has grown and grown and the over the last six months or so the accumulation of  fifteen to 20 chapters of a book has started to take place and the battle continues to prepare the final manuscript for what i hope will become the most dramatic and unexpected change in my life.

In the meantime, bread rolls and eggs will keep this engine going………. Life is ever so Rosie.

Here we go again

Soon, very soon, the cobwebs will be blown from thousands of bars, restaurants and rental cars. The sounds of multiple aircraft are already increasing, and the birds are chirping. Summer is looming, gone are the six lazy months of the close season, and all the hard work begins again. Mallorca…… serving the tourist division. I see the quiet streets gather speed and the flow of traffic is no longer smooth.

Rental cars tear around the towns from a fiat shoe-box to, a mustang, not forgetting the health and safety certified family size peddle cars jamming up the roads.

This island is a very busy island, and that includes busy bodies as well……. anyway you need a course here on how to avoid the million five wide cycle units that seem to dominate this beautiful place. so just take care not to take a few out in the mountains.

Along with bicycles, motorbikes, mopeds,taxis,busses, coaches, Skateboards, Hover-boards, roller-bladers ……..niceeeeee. stray cats and dogs, mountain bikers, the list goes on people……………..take care and good luck.

and most importantly here is…….. anything goes……. this is my definition of a bumper ok

A bumper is something intended for an accidental bump, correct, i said accidental.

you can forgive that.

But, with my very own eyes i witnessed the home grown talent here and it turns out the bumpers are not for accidental use. Here bumping is welcomed with open arms. If you dont bump your car then your a blunt, and the community frowns upon you………………. failed in their greatest achievement so far in life, bumping three times.

its honestly such a beautiful sight to see a beaten up piece a s><? car, pull up right next to the beautiful Audi and be fully aware that they will clearly not fit. The fast glance around settles the decision, no other spaces available. Yes you are correct, you now have five cars unable to get out and some damage along the way, but hey ho, s><? happens. There is no need to panic, once you have seen it a few times it becomes the norm, just brush it off or take a photo like i do.

so thats the roads covered then, hope you all getting the picture. gotta love the summer.

See you in a few days everyone.

Changes and faith

The man who feels lost, may walk alone.

But, towards the two pin pricks of light he sees,

he will keep digging, because he believes.

As the pin pricks of light begin to grow,

the darkness lifts, to reveal the wolf beyond the mist.

No matter how many guesses as to what the lights could be,

how very wrong was he to see,

the vision before him, was to be his security,

and from the darkness i was pulled.